Last week was a very trying one mentally. After I heard from the nurse at the fertility clinic on Monday that I was not pregnant and to stop all drugs I heard from the intended mother, she questioned why I had a HCG level but the clinic was saying that we were not pregnant. After some discussion we both agreed to keep doing the progesterone injections until I had another pregnancy test on Wednesday. We did not tell the clinic we were doing this but I wanted to help the intended parents get a better piece of mind that there was really not a baby after this first IVF attempt. So, Wednesday I went into my OB office to had another blood pregnancy test done. I was hoping for same day results but of course that would be too easy. We had to wait until Thursday afternoon to get the results and when the OB's office talked to me they said "you are pregnant" which I had a brief moment of excitement until I asked what my numbers were. On Monday my number was 2.5 (anything under 5 the clinic deems not pregnant) and on Wednesday the number was 2.25. HCG numbers are supposed to double every 48 hours so these low numbers that are staying low would indicate that there was not a viable pregnancy at this time. I was sure that these results would help ease their mind, but instead it only gave them more questions. Since the 2 tests were done at different labs it was then decided to do the test yet again on Friday (and of course that means that I have to keep doing the shots, not what I am wanting to do). Finally on Monday we got those results and my numbers have continued to go down to 1.8.
During all this over the last week and all my frustration I have tried to put myself into their shoes and everything they are going through to have another baby. I can't imagine what they must be going through with the disappointment and knowing that this whole process is out of their hands.
I start the birth control pills tomorrow as the beginning of the second round is now beginning. The estimate is that transfer can happen in about 5.5 weeks from now. The big question is what does that do for a due date. From what I have figured it would make a due date around the middle of December so I am not sure what the intended parents are going to do with that. They are trying to decide between going forward as soon as possible or waiting and doing a late January due date. It seems like there is always something up in the air and a decision to be waited for. As I keep saying, I just want to get to the pregnancy part...the part I am experienced in!
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
In shock...
I know that many IVF cycles do not end in a pregnancy but I did not ever really consider that IVF would not work for us the first time through. We are not doing this because I need help getting pregnant or even because the intended parents can not get pregnant (she has already carried her own child) but rather because her body does not handle the stress of pregnancy well. Why would I not get pregnant when 2 good looking embryos are placed right into my "great looking" (or however the doctors indicated that my uterus looked just as they would like) uterus. My first thoughts are to what did I do wrong, even though I am very certain that I did not do anything to not enable these embryos to implant.
In all my planning and thinking through this process I never thought about what would happen if we did not get pregnant the first cycle. Yes, it is in the contract that we will attempt 3 times, but I just never thought that we would have to be concerned with that. Now is the time when we are very grateful that we have 2 frozen blastids waiting to be transferred. We don't have to wait on the intended mother to do another egg retrieval, we just have to worry about me. Also, blastids have a higher chance of implanting then the embryos that were implanted the first time.
The question of the day is now do we go right into another transfer or do we have me stop my medicine and wait for my period before starting again. Hopefully we will know by the end of the day so I know what I need to be doing. In a way I am hoping that we can go right into another transfer and not have to wait the extra month for the whole cycle to start again. I am just waiting on a phone call to give me instructions on where we go next!
In all my planning and thinking through this process I never thought about what would happen if we did not get pregnant the first cycle. Yes, it is in the contract that we will attempt 3 times, but I just never thought that we would have to be concerned with that. Now is the time when we are very grateful that we have 2 frozen blastids waiting to be transferred. We don't have to wait on the intended mother to do another egg retrieval, we just have to worry about me. Also, blastids have a higher chance of implanting then the embryos that were implanted the first time.
The question of the day is now do we go right into another transfer or do we have me stop my medicine and wait for my period before starting again. Hopefully we will know by the end of the day so I know what I need to be doing. In a way I am hoping that we can go right into another transfer and not have to wait the extra month for the whole cycle to start again. I am just waiting on a phone call to give me instructions on where we go next!
Friday, February 3, 2012
Did that really just happen?
So after thinking about being a surrogate for 5 years and going through the process, yesterday was such a surreal experience. I drove to Raleigh and got there around 10. Before I even got out of my car my nerves were tested when a guy backed out into the passenger side of my Tahoe. Thankfully, he was not going very fast and there was absolutely no damage to either of our cars!
The intended parents were there when I got there and we went right into my acupuncture appointment. It was a great experience and got me totally relaxed, but at the end of the 45 minutes I was feeling a little ready to move again. After that appointment we went upstairs to the fertility clinic. After about 10 minutes we were called back to get ready for the transfer. We were shown pictures of the embryos and learned that the 2 they were placing were both 9 cells and compacting. They were great quality and as good as they could be expected to be. I was then sent into the bathroom to change into my gown, shoe booties, hair net and mask. The intended parents were given scrubs, booties, hair net and masks too. Seeing our new outfits made this all seem so real. We were taken into the room, all white with the "surgical" feel to it. Immediately I was put onto the table with my legs in the stirrups, an awkward position when you are in the room with another man that is NOT your husband (I was covered completely so there was no risk of him seeing anything!)
Once the doctor came in they showed us the embryos on the tv screen and then they were brought in for the transfer. I had a brief moment of oh crap what am I doing but I think I would have thought that even if it was for my own child. There is something about knowing from that minute on you are possibly pregnant. The transfer took about 5 minutes then we were let back out to get back into our normal clothes. All done, successfully impregnated, now to see how many continue to grow...yikes, there could be 2!!
After the transfer I had another acupuncture appointment that lasted about 25 minutes then we had a good lunch at Village Deli before I got back on the road to head home. What a day! I did not physically do a lot but I was completely drained when I got home, nothing that 9.5 hours of sleep could not fix.
I am able to go about my normal activities but have to keep my activity level as low as possible for the next 2-3 days. In a week and a half I go in for the pregnancy test and progesterone levels to see if I am indeed pregnant. If all went well then the baby/babies are due October 22nd!
The intended parents were there when I got there and we went right into my acupuncture appointment. It was a great experience and got me totally relaxed, but at the end of the 45 minutes I was feeling a little ready to move again. After that appointment we went upstairs to the fertility clinic. After about 10 minutes we were called back to get ready for the transfer. We were shown pictures of the embryos and learned that the 2 they were placing were both 9 cells and compacting. They were great quality and as good as they could be expected to be. I was then sent into the bathroom to change into my gown, shoe booties, hair net and mask. The intended parents were given scrubs, booties, hair net and masks too. Seeing our new outfits made this all seem so real. We were taken into the room, all white with the "surgical" feel to it. Immediately I was put onto the table with my legs in the stirrups, an awkward position when you are in the room with another man that is NOT your husband (I was covered completely so there was no risk of him seeing anything!)
Once the doctor came in they showed us the embryos on the tv screen and then they were brought in for the transfer. I had a brief moment of oh crap what am I doing but I think I would have thought that even if it was for my own child. There is something about knowing from that minute on you are possibly pregnant. The transfer took about 5 minutes then we were let back out to get back into our normal clothes. All done, successfully impregnated, now to see how many continue to grow...yikes, there could be 2!!
After the transfer I had another acupuncture appointment that lasted about 25 minutes then we had a good lunch at Village Deli before I got back on the road to head home. What a day! I did not physically do a lot but I was completely drained when I got home, nothing that 9.5 hours of sleep could not fix.
I am able to go about my normal activities but have to keep my activity level as low as possible for the next 2-3 days. In a week and a half I go in for the pregnancy test and progesterone levels to see if I am indeed pregnant. If all went well then the baby/babies are due October 22nd!
Here are the 2 embryos they used!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
The details
What an exciting week. On Monday the intended mother had her egg retrieval and they were able to get 10 eggs, 7 of which were mature. Then 5 of those took the sperm and were fertilized. They are not checking the little embryos today to see how they are doing but will again tomorrow. The transfer will either be tomorrow (Thurs) or Saturday. From what I understand, if the embryos are doing well in the lab then they will give them 2 more days to continue to divide so they can see which 2 become the best embryos. If they do not look like they are doing as well then they will do the transfer tomorrow to go ahead and get them into their natural environment.
I will start my drive tomorrow morning to Raleigh at about 7 and wait to hear from the embryologist. If they would prefer to do the transfer tomorrow then I will continue my trip, otherwise I will turn around and head back home and go on Saturday morning. Before the transfer I have an acupuncture appointment. The fertility clinic has seen better success with their patients who have done acupuncture so at the intended parent's request I will try it. I am actually excited as it is something I have wanted to do but could not ever bring myself to try!
Today is my last day of non-pregnant Casey...CRAZY!
I will start my drive tomorrow morning to Raleigh at about 7 and wait to hear from the embryologist. If they would prefer to do the transfer tomorrow then I will continue my trip, otherwise I will turn around and head back home and go on Saturday morning. Before the transfer I have an acupuncture appointment. The fertility clinic has seen better success with their patients who have done acupuncture so at the intended parent's request I will try it. I am actually excited as it is something I have wanted to do but could not ever bring myself to try!
Today is my last day of non-pregnant Casey...CRAZY!
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