Here we go!

I am officially the worst blogger!  So much has been going on with this surrogacy and I can not believe that I have not written in so long:(  

Last Monday I went to Raleigh to go to the fertility clinic with the intended parents.  I had a 9:00 appointment to get my IUD out and to do a saline ultrasound to check the lining of my uterus  I was anticipating a couple hour appointment so was surprised when I was done in 10 short minutes!  We then just had to kill time while we waited for our 1:00 education class to teach us all about the timeline of the process, drugs we will be using and to sign all the paperwork.  We were not done until about 4:30 so it made for a pretty long day.  It was great to see the excitement in the IP's eyes as they are finally getting close to having a new little baby.  Both the genetic mother and I left the office with birth control pills in hand to start that evening.

Fast forward one week and  today I started the drugs necessary to get me ready to carry this baby (and hopefully just one!)  I have never had to inject myself with anything so it was a little scary to think that that will be my life for the next couple of weeks.  I know that in the end it will all be worth it when I am able to hand their new baby over to them.  

The way things are going right now, we are hoping to do the embryo transfer the 20-25 of January and the baby would be due somewhere between the 9 and 15 of October.  Hearing these dates makes everything so much more real!

The only main thing we have left to do is sign the final contract.  I am waiting on someone to read it over for me which should be today and then we are going to finalize it all.  

Until next time, Casey

Working on a Contract

We got the first list of items that the IP would like in the contract.  While I understand that they are placing their full trust in me to start the life of their new baby I was slightly taken back by some of the items on their list.  I am sure their requests are common, I was just taken a little off guard.  As a pretty strong woman I pride myself on taking care of myself, and did I mentioned I have already birthed 3 very healthy children, so it is hard to swallow that I now have someone else saying what I can or can not do for the next year.

This is obviously something that I am going to have to adjust to as I know it is important to provide the best for this unborn miracle.  This is definitely an area that might be easier to navigate through when choosing to surrogate for a family member or friend.

Nonetheless, with a little research and careful conversation I know we will be able to come to terms that we both agree on!

Busy Week!

We made our first offical steps towards the surrogacy last week.  Last Monday I went in and had blood drawn for tests (5 vials, holy cow!).  I asked her all that they were testing for and of course it went in one ear and out the other.  The only ones I can remember are a full thyroid panel and the gamet of STD's.  It feels weird to give all this information to someone I don't know well but I know it is necessary.

Friday, T and I had to go to Greensboro to meet with a psychiatrist.  I was just hoping that we would not "fail" the screening, though I am not sure what that looks like.  It was a good talk and overall very easy.  The psychologist asked us lots of questions and as I am sure he is a great guy I could not help but think that I was going to say something wrong.  I know that he is there to make sure we are not crazy (which I am confident we are not) but it was hard to not fear that I would say something wrong that would make him look at me and say "no way should you carry this child"!

I know that things are getting crazy in my life when I enjoy our "date" to the psychologist!  It is the quiet time with just the two of us that I always enjoy, obviously it does not matter where that quiet time might occur.

Decision Made

We chose our family!  After meeting only one family it is great to say that we have decided to surrogate for them.  I am so excited that we are able to do this for them and I look forward to completing this journey with them and then to see this baby grow up.  I know that this is a life long friendship that we have created.

We are now in the beginning stages of the process as we get all of our ducks in a row.  I am getting my medical records from my last pregnancy to the fertility clinic as they have to look over all that before beginning anything.  We will also begin working on a legal contract between us just to make sure we are all protected.  Once everything is official, we will begin my required medical tests and psychological evaluation.  If all goes well then we can expect to get pregnant at the beginning of they year!

Successful Meeting

Well, we met our first potential family and all in all I can call it a success.  First off, the kids got along great!  I loved seeing M, F and R play so great with someone they had only met that day.  The four of us adults were able to have great conversations and get to know each other a little better then we were able to do over email.

When they first got to town we met at a park near our house.  I thougth that would be the best way to break the ice and to give the kids something to do.  We played there a LONG 2 hours before heading back to our house for dinner.  Dinner was good, just an easy baked ziti I had prepared in case we decided to do dinner together.  We ended up hanging out till about 7 or so with us adults talking and the kids playing great together upstairs.

It was great to see our families interacting and all I could keep thinking about was the time when I would be in the hospital with their child.  It is so surreal to think of still but as I met this family I knew this was something I was meant to do.

Another Connection Made

It is kind of surreal, we are meeting a family tomorrow that could possibly be the one we chose to surrogate for.  It has all happened so fast but I am excited for what is to come.  I got connected to this family through the surroagatemother.com website and we have been emailing for a little over a week now.  As she puts it, it is kind of like speed dating, which is totally true.  We have a little bit of time to try and learn about each other on a very intimate level.

They are coming down for the afternoon so we can finally meet face-to-face.  They do have a little boy already so he will get a chance to play with my three kids.  I have not told my kids any thing about this or who the people we are meeting at the park are, all they know is that it is someone new to play with!

I can only hope that this meeting goes well and we decide to match.  If so, I could be pregnant by early next year!

Finally Making Connections!

I can't believe it, I am finally talking to an agency that might actually get me connected to a couple!  After 2 weeks of emails with someone at an agency in Raleigh (which I found through surrogatemother.com) I am in the process as being set up as one of their surrogates.  The agency currently has 3 couples waiting to find a surrogate, hopefully one of them will be the right fit for us.
I have been filling out the surrogate mother paperwork this weeknd.  I am not sure what I expected when she told me she had some paperwork to fill out, but I did not expect the 17 pages I got.  They want to know everything about me, my family, pregnancies and beliefs.  I guess it makes sense as it is important the intended parents know exactly who is going to be carrying their child.  I have a few more of the trickier questions left to answer but I am hoping to get it faxed in tomorrow!
I am not sure how long the process will take from this initial paperwork to the actual IVF but I don't see it being a very quick process.  Hopefully I will learn more tomorrow after she gets my paperwork back!

Still waiting...

Wow, can't believe it has already been 2 months since I made the decision to begin this journey.  Unfortunately, not much has happened in that time.  I am still unsure of how to actually find that perfect couple that we can make into a family.

I have begun to slowly get the word out to friends in hopes that one of them will know of a couple in need of surrogate.  A few have said they might know someone, but so far noothing s serious.  I also joined a website, surrogatemother.com.  This is a website that gives hopeful surrogates and intended parents a place to chat and meet.  I have replied to a few people and even heard back from 2, but again, nothing serious happening yet.  I keep praying that I will hear from that one special couple so we can begin the process.

I am going to continue to get the word out and check the website, maybe I will find the perfect couple soon!

Deciding to Blog

As most of you know, I am not a writer.  I am a person of few written words (can't say the same for spoken words!) so this is probably the last thing I ever thought I would do.  But, I want a way to document this experience I am getting ready to embark on.

I am a mother of 3 wonderful children and the wife to a husband I love dearly.  My family is truly amazing and I am beyond blessed to have them in my life.  Growing up I have always loved children and I knew I wanted to have my own.  It took a few months trying and a little doctor intervention with both my first and second pregnancies, but once that little miracle started growing I knew my body was meant for babies.  All three of my pregnancies were easy and ended with remarkably easy labors and births. 

It is during these pregnancies that I began to think about the other millions of couples out there that will not get the chance to have a baby of their own.  Yes, some will chose to adopt, but some want a child that is genetically theirs. 

While on vacation last month my husband and I met a great couple who themselves will probably become parents through a surrogate.  Unfortunately they live all the way across the US in California so it may not be the best fit for us, but it was wonderful to finally hear from someone else that will be on the other side of this process, it also helped finalize our devising that surrogacy was the right thing for me.

I am choosing to be a gestational surrogate, meaning that the baby will genetically be the intended parents, I will only be carrying it for 9 months.  An embryo will be created then will be implanted into my uterus through IVF. 

The decision has been made but that is not to say I am not anxious about the process.  How am I going to find that perfect couple that we want to help?  Will I be able to find a couple that wants me to carry this precious miracle of theirs?  How will I explain this pregnancy to my own children?  What will my friends and family think of this?

This blog will hopefully become a journal for a little miracle.  I hope I can do a decent job putting my thoughts into words.  I hope that sharing my experience can open people's minds about the process.  I hope this ends with a baby being born.  I mainly hope someone decides to read and follow it.