Learn to expect the unexpected:(

I had my 36 week appointment this last week on Thursday and was kinda looking forward to the appointment.  This is the week when they do the Strep-B test so I was figuring that I would get checked and I was excited to see if I was dilated or not!  I know that having any dilation now does not indicate when I would go into labor but it is always nice to know what is going on down there.

When I arrived at the appointment they had me do my own strep test!  In all reality no big deal that I did not have to get undressed for them, but just unexpected.  Then, I found out that the intended parents had been there and had had a private discussion with my midwife.  I was pretty floored by this as I had not anything from them about any concerns.  Once I went into the room with them and our appointment started with the midwife they non-challantely told me that they were not ok with a water birth.  What?  I was completely blown away that this was never said to me personally and that they are deciding what I can do to manage my pain during labor.  I just let the appointment progress as normal but inside was stewing from this latest news.  It is true that I did not start this pregnancy thinking about a water birth, but after hearing more from the midwife about it as well as a friend of mine that has used a tub and shower during her labor, just not for delivery, (and a nice email from a trusted aunt:)) I was looking forward to the opportunity to see how much easier this labor could be with the water.

After I got home I had to call the intended parents to let it be known that I was not happy with their decision and how much it upset me that this was never brought to my attention before they discussed it with the midwife.  It was a long talk and did not get me the final results that I was hoping.  I am still not "allowed" to labor or birth in the water (hard to even say the words as I can't believe I am being told how I should get this little girl out).  Their big concern is the intended father being in the room during the birth and I was trying to make that happen as well as keep myself as comfortable as possible which was a great reason for the water birth.  I told them their other 2 options were at the hospital with an epidural, which I really did not want, but it would assure me that I would be able to survive labor pains while keeping covered in the bed or deliver at the birthing center but I need to have the ability to tell him to get out whenever I am feeling uncomfortable.  After they discussed, we are still going to deliver at the birth center and I will just have to see where the day goes and how I am feeling during the birth.

I never thought that this would be the outcome or the feelings I would have after deciding to give the gift of life to another couple.  I have less then 3 weeks to go (hopefully:)) and I can only pray that they go smoothly and that the relationship I have with the intended family improves after the birth.  I want this little girl to know who I am and how I made her life possible as well as to see her grow up.

Only 3 more weeks!!