Crazy Busy

Where does my time go?  I hate that I had a doctors appointment last week and I am just now getting to writing a post.

We had another quick appointment last week and everything is progressing perfectly.  It was a quick appointment and was just the normal vitals for me and then time to listen to the heartbeat.  We were going to maybe do an ultrasound but they did not do it and I did not care since I was in a hurry to get out of there and to my son's school so I could volunteer.

It was interesting to learn that my midwife is thinking about becoming a surrogate for her best friend who has trying to conceive for a few years now and has not had success with IVF either.  Her main question to me was how did I feel about having to give the baby up and how did I stay detached.  Such a good question!  I always hoped that I would be able to stay detached like I am now, but of course I did not know how it would feel before I was actually carrying the baby.  I have gone through this whole process knowing that I am helping another family bring their little one home and i think that knowing that has helped me to keep this baby out of my mind.  I know she is there (especially when it feels like she is clawing herself out!) but never once have I had a connection to her like I did my own children.  It also helps that I am so busy and full with the activities of my own children that the thought of having a 4th kinda overwhelms me right now!

I would feel so good if someone hearing my story and learning about my experience was then inspired to become a surrogate themselves.

So now my excuse for not getting around to writing...last weekend we took a 4 day/3 night "vacation" to the beach with my sister, 2 cousins and all our kids.  We were in a 10 bedroom oceanfront house with 12 kids between the ages of 5 months and 8 years!  It could have gone really bad but we were lucky and everyone had a great time.  Now don't get me wrong, we had some moments (like at 6:30 am trying to keep the early risers calm and quiet) but overall we had a wonderful trip and some great memories.  The weather was great and we were able to spend most of our days outside which was such a blessing for a mid-October trip.  We have now decided that this will be an once a year trip, not an one and only:)

Here is a picture of all the crazy kids:

And another of a crazy mealtime:

Since we have gotten back our days and nights have been jam packed and I have just been trying to play catch up.  I finally got all the laundry done and the suitcases unpacked today, 5 days later, which is so unlike me!

Yes, I am feeling good, when I have the time to think about even being pregnant!  I am getting pretty big and can't believe I still have 3 months left to go!  I know this last trimester will fly by as we are now in the holiday/birthday season.  There is a "big" event every 2 weeks from now till New Years which then puts me 4 weeks from my due date, whew!

13.5 weeks to go!

Ok Already!

I know, I know, I need to keep up with this!  I promise I am trying but I am failing miserably:(  For some reason I just can't find the time to sit down with the computer and write even a little update.  Could be I don't like writing or that I would rather be sewing:)

The last week and a half has been a roller coaster of emotions for our family.  Probably doesn't help that  I have these wonderful pregnancy hormones hanging out in my body!  Last Sunday night we had a little scare with our youngest child and ended up in urgent care and ultimately at the Children's Hospital for the night.  I noticed bruises popping up on her legs, lots of little bruises and not in places were I would expect to see them on a 2 year old.  It ended up that she has Immune thrombocytopenia (ITP) in which her body started attacking her platelets like they were a foreign body.  She had an IV treatment of antibodies which helped her spleen stop attacking the platelets early Monday morning and was able to go home Monday afternoon.  We have 6 months of follow-up blood checks but it is something that will go away on its own and should not affect her anymore.  Such a blessing!

After that was finally over we found out on Monday that my husband's grandmother had passed away. She had lived with my husband and his parents for many years so a huge loss to the family.  I am grateful that I got to know her and see her as much as we did.

Finally, on Monday we took our black lab to the vet as she had had loose stools all weekend.  Deep down I knew she has not been feeling the best but I was trying to ignore it.  We found out she has a grapefruit sized tumor in her abdomen. The tumor is taking her nutrients and slowly taking away her muscle mass.  We are lucky she has been so healthy in her 11 years and we will continue to do what we can to keep her comfortable and happy.

Between all this the pregnancy has not been high on my mind:(  I am feeling good and trucking along.  The baby is moving a lot more now which catches me off guard sometimes.  I don't forget that I am pregnant but I am not completely obsessed with every little movement like I was when it was my child. I am still feeling the detachment that I have had throughout this pregnancy.  Last night it did feel as though the baby was trying to kick her way out of my belly!

My weight has started to creep up a bit but I have to attribute that to the excessive sweets I ate the last couple of weeks.  I have tried to keep that in check lately so I am hoping the weight gain slows down!  I have been keeping up my 4-5 days a week of exercise which always keeps me a little happier:)

16.5 weeks to go! 

Halfway there!

I am 20 weeks, so technically I am halfway through this pregnancy.  But, looking at this whole process, I am much closer to the finish then the start.  Looking back, the process started last Oct/Nov when I met the intended parents and then the first transfer which was the beginning of January a whole 12 months before our expected due date. So, 20 more weeks (maybe a little less if history proves to repeat itself) and this whole surrogacy thing will be complete. It has been a crazy journey so far and I am excited to see how it will end, especially looking forward to that day in January that I get to hand the parents their new baby girl! 

I am still feeling great but tired again...but I think that has more to do with the fact that I have to get up super early, like 5 am early, to get my workouts in before the kids are up and our crazy morning begins.  I know, I know, I need my sleep, but I am not a happy person either if I don't get my exercise, so I am just realizing that I am having to go to bed a whole lot earlier, 9:00!

My belly is growing and I am starting to get the "when are you due" question a whole lot more.  I am getting more used to the question and therefor am getting better at the answer, "late January, but I am a surrogate so it is not mine".  Not sure why I feel the need to tell people this right off but it is all I can say when asked!  Before my instinct was to just say "it's not mine" before answering their questions:)  Of course, these questions always start the surrogate conversation but I don't mind, maybe my decision to do this will get someone else to help another family in need!

I have yet to get out my maternity clothes, but they will be making an appearance in my closet this weekend (haven't come down also due to the 75 pound box they are in and I have to remember to ask my husband when he is home!)  I am surviving on my knit skirts and elastic waisted shorts which are a part of my regular wardrobe.  My regular shirts also still fit so all is well there, I won't be wearing maternity shirts for a little bit anyway since I don't want to draw attention to my growing belly:)

19.5 weeks to go, the count DOWN is on!

Told the kids

So we finally decided it was time to tell the kids what we are doing.  I had decided earlier in the weekend to tell them Monday night (since we had my brother in law here all weekend) and it could not have been better timed!  On Monday morning we decided to take a break from the pool and go play putt-putt instead.  There was another prego (probably a few weeks ahead of me) playing at the same time.  When we got in the car we made a comment or two about her belly being a little bigger then mine and Maddox proceeds to say "but she has a baby in hers".  Ouch, but I guess why would he think otherwise when I have not said anything to him about it!

We told them at dinner by reminding them of the intended parent's other child (to make sure they knew who we were talking about) and telling them that since his mommy could not grow a baby I am doing it for them.  That I did have a baby in my belly, but it was not our baby, it was his little sister and when she is born she will go and live with them.  It was interesting to see how the 3 and 5 year olds processed it differently.  My 3 year old was instantly intrigued that there was a baby in my belly and kept touching it while my 5 year old was a little quieter and I could tell he was trying to process everything.  We stressed that it was not our baby and would never come home with us.  They both seemed to do a great job with understanding this situation and later in the night both made mention to this being someone else's little sister.  They did want to know if they could name the baby to which we obviously had to say "no":)  I have a feeling it will have a nickname soon though, hopefully something better then Baby Croc which was what my last child was called in utero. 

As for me, my belly is growing by leaps and bounds!  I can not "hide" this pregnancy anymore!  This was also a tough week weight wise as I gained 4 pounds.  Pregnant or not, that is a tough increase to see on the scale in a weeks time! 

Just under 21 weeks to go!!

Quick Update

Just wanted to give a quick update as I have been pretty busy and forget to find the time to get on the computer...sorry!

I am still feeling great and moving right along.  I "look" pregnant now with this belly that continues to grow.  I am realizing that I will probably have a lot more discussions coming about the surrogacy now as people see that I am pregnant.  For some reason the first thing I can say when someone notices I am pregnant is "it's not mine" which does make them stop to think for a second before starting all the questions!

I might have felt a kick or two but not calling it official movement since I can't definitely say it was not gas and since it is not consistent yet.  Maybe this week?

I have almost survived the summer:)  Almost time for me to get a little more rest with the kids in school...finally. What a long summer, but I guess I can be thankful that I was not 9 months pregnant in the heat!  My oldest has had his first day of school and starts full time on Friday, my middle child starts preschool on Wednesday next week!!

21.5 weeks to go, almost halfway there!

Doing great

We had our second visit with the midwife today and all went well.  I was a little anxious as to how the appointment would go since the intended parents and I have only spoken via email and text since our last appointment.

I only had to wait a few minutes before I was called to the back for my appointment.  Before they even did anything Marcia (the midwife) spoke to me and I let her know how things were going between us and how we have decided to handle the appointments going forward.  She was glad to hear that we have figured everything out.  This is her first surrogate birth that she is a practitioner for so a learning experience for all!  They did my vitals and I gained about 3 pounds this last month and had a good blood pressure. The intended parents were called back to the room and were able to hear the heartbeat which was 150.  That was it and the appointment was over:)  I had to hurry back home to get the babysitter back to my sister's as she needed to go do something so there was not much time for talking. 

We met again at 12 for the ultrasound appointment.  They decided to do an ultrasound to determine the gender and to also have pictures to show their son as they were going to tell him this weekend that he was going to be a big brother. The ultrasound was fun and a really good experience.  The technician/owner was actually the ultrasound tech when I was pregnant with Finley (we might not have remembered each other but it was good to see someone I knew and trusted).  She started with the 2D ultrasound looking at the baby and then quickly moved to the gender determination.  I was pretty proud of myself as I was able to see pretty fast that it was a GIRL (especially since I have never seen the between the leg shot on my own kids)!  I am so excited for them.  As with most expecting parents you will take and love whatever God gives you, but one gender or another might be preferred.  Since they already have a boy they were overjoyed to learn that they will now have the experience to parent a girl.  We were in the ultrasound for about 25 minutes and had a great time seeing this little girl and how shy she was.  We did not get many face shots as she kept her hand up to her face for most of the morning!  Hopefully they will send me some of the pictures and I can put them up for you.

Personally I am feeling great and can't believe that I have already started to pop!  I don't know if I can fit into my regular clothes as I prefer dresses and soft skirts usually anyway and I haven't tried on anything without an elastic waist:)  Someone at the pool on Tuesday asked if I was going to have a 4th, I think that was her really nice way to ask if I was pregnant!

23.5 weeks to go!

Feeling Great

I have a tendency to not write when there is "nothing going on" but I forget that I guess that is news that I should share too.  I am finally feeling like I usually do when I am pregnant...pretty good, so that if I did not know I was pregnant then I would not be able to tell.  I am finally over the tired stage and able to feel a little more productive around the house.  I don't have any food aversions anymore or am I feeling nauseous.

I had a busy week and a half but luckily it is finally Friday and Tim and I are both going to be home this weekend (one of the only ones until later in the fall).  I had 5 days of bike races from Wednesday to Sunday last week.  Not hard work but long hours and lots of time outside.  I had a great time being with all the bikers but was glad when the weekend was over.  This week has been a full 4 days with 4 kids.  We took all 4 kids to Carowinds yesterday for Family day with Tim's work.  The day went better then I could have ever expected, the weather was great, the kids were wonderful and everything went perfect.  It did not even phase me that i could not go on any of the rides....don't know if that means I am getting older or what!

We have the next prenatal appointment on Wednesday so it will be interesting how things go since I have only really spoken to the intended parents over text and email since the last appointment.  I think we have worked everything out but just haven't spoken on the phone.  After the appointment we have a 3D ultrasound so they can find out the sex of the baby.  It is hard for me to grasp that I will know what the sex of this baby is as i have never known before, I feel like the secret is about to be ruined (even though I know that is not how a lot of people feel!)

My belly has finally popped and is becoming much more noticeable.  My weight is still pretty much the same so hopefully they don't cause a fuss about that this week.   I have not done anything to try and keep it down, just eating the same things I have always eaten and I am sure it will start to creep up soon as the baby continues to grow.  No matter what the scale says, I am starting to feel big:)

Just over 24 weeks to go!